trace time

Time, contrary to our illusions, cannot be managed. Just as thoughts cannot be controlled. They exist and can be given into or released. Multi-tasking REALTOR/Playwright/mother of sons, I experience the lack of time’s inability to let me impose my will on it daily, or should I say moment-by-moment? Time needs to be traced, like a finger on rainy glass, moving molecules to create a new pattern. This means you must put your finger to the glass, you must engage with the surface and what lies wet upon it.
I say I wish I had more time to spend with my kids… but if it doesn’t contain engagement, it is merely a measure of moments in shared space while trying to ‘manage’ time; usually in the car, on the phone, transporting, with thoughts elsewhere. Is that what I want? What I really want is for them to see me, to give me a glimmer of who they are and perhaps move the molecules of who they will become.
In art school I was taught to look, to see, to run it through my soul and let that come out on paper. Tracing paper allows one to lay something transparent over that which is real and with a number 2 pencil re-create it with some measure of accuracy. I think that’s what we do with good intention to time.
As a REALTOR I’m asked about “time to buy, time to sell”. And the answer is always maybe. Depending on your needs, but especially upon your perception. Those who’ve been able to see time clearly are the ones who recognize a moment. They buy. These ‘time managers’ see appreciation and beauty where others see danger; investing of themselves, their time and their hard earned money in neighborhoods which become the jewels of the city. These are the artists. Creative ones who live life in a moment, tracing time. Engaged.